:+: Could i be selfish?? :+:

Tarikh:250808, environment: dalam keta c Accurate

Me:: Liz blh ku jdi selfish kh?
Liz:: maksud??
Me:: i rily wish dat aku blh jdi selfish n pentingkan diri sendiri cz buat apa care abt ppl yg nda tau appreciate diri ani
Liz:: knapa??
Me:: ntahlh liz, i jz feel rily TIRED rily~~ cz seriously there no way dat i wnna be with ppl who thinkz dat i doesn't sincerely care/ love dem..its rily hurtZZ..cz as ko tau kn, caring/loving sum1 to me is i love them guna HATI bkn guna LUTUT/OTAK
Liz:: if u can be selfish den be 1...

End of conversation...

I'm an half art and half science type of person. Half art bcz i myself love to understand benda2 sastera eventho ppl tend to say it's hard to be understand+i have the sensitivity of the human art. half science bcz i took pure science stream subject during mystudent timeline (Physics,Biology,Chemistry,Maths, Additional Maths,Geography and etc) which lead me to relate art & science facts quite emotionally. But still it doesn't mean dat i like to directly express how i felt.

Recently it's quite a Tiring days, seriously lah..i neva takes account in apa2 that hurt me..seriously i could handle lotz and lotz and lotz of assignments, my Love problem, my lotz of priorities stuff, pressure coming from ummi,sisters&brothers but i jz couldn't help to stand the dissapointment when it face ukhuwah (relationship)--> whether it's friendship relationship/sisterhood relationship.

When my relationship goes chaotic with my special sum1, i jz set my nick

"f dunia ni berputar jz bcz of CINTA, PEDAH2 ja idup to Yo!! so dn't bother"

with this nick i stop headaching my self and move on cz i gots lots of stuff more important to do

When my assignment goes out of limit, i jz set my nick:

"mau makan mamee"

with this, i chill and hv the motivation to goes on cz seriously it's juz assignment

When i got damam, sick, nosebleed o whatsoever, i jz set my nick:

"nosebleed"/ "JAYO!!"

with this, i start smiling n grateful that im still living n knowing dat i would be healthy the next day

But when my Ukhuwah gets into accidents/ problems/ misery/ sadness/ stressful/feeling as if kan mati o kn give up!! i rily feel as if i wanna hugs dat person who bond UKHUWAH with me!!! SINCERELY because i feels that my heart kn explode n i felt useless f i done nothing!! because as a half art& half science type, i myself gets emotionally attached to that person. Because the love that i been pour to this relationship is dat i'm using my HATI SINCERELY LILLAHI'TAALA... honestly i felt irritated!! i'm a no person yg suka kapit2 rh org yg nda mau kn diri ani, i am also bknnya org yg syg org nda bertempat, i'm also a bkn org yg suka paksa org but when i start giving my TRUST,LOVE&SYG to sum1, i would SINCERELY wanna be anything to that sum1. so its ok f i been jd tmpat kana marah by dat sum1/ tmpat apa2. cz i rily wanna be meaningful to that person. bcz as far as im concern, the person also wanna be sum1 special to me. (that's wat meant by appreaciating each other)...PlZ dn't make me start writing to my nick again this:

"myCondition rytenw's myOwn Deal"

i hate myself bcz i been thinking to be selfish knowing that i cudn't do so...